I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You...

I dunno it was a weird day today.  Pretty normal I woke up invigorated, ready and willing to fight the world.  Ready to hang onto the lines of the world and search for another Journey.  and I guess I bit off more than I could chew emotionally,  first I was bombarded with images of my phantom like father, whom haunts me with each gaze I take at the mirror.  And then I have this fantastic evening with someone who I know I could never have.  Someone, in a strange way, I would never want to possess.  Someone only to lie next to and stare at while she sleeps or while she stares outside the wintry seas of white outside her window.  I could watch her coffee bean eyes mirror the shine of the January snow for an eternity.  I get lost in their darkness and I slip down her nose and swim in the orange ocean that is her mouth, her lips.  I'd love to watch her just curl up in a ball in a corner inside her room, slowly sipping tea with her hair messy, wasting the day away.  an image that transcends the conventional themes of sex and love,  She is more than the sexual anatomy that is tuned harmoniously to mine.  She is the sweetest ambrosia perched atop a diamond cutting mountain where only the purest Gods & Spirits could reach.  This image I reveal here will never be revealed to her ever.  it is for me to fold away and stuff into a pocket near my chest to occasionally warm my heart after bitter dreams.  I don't know why I feel this way but it won't go away.   Each and every day I get to know her I like her more and more and my emotions take me  over.  It's becoming harder to control them,  But with every fiber of my being I do.  Not for any special or philosophical reason, except for fear that it will end and pass as all things often do.  It isn't just her though,  its women in general.  I cannot move from this latency paralysis,  I'm afraid of entering relationships simply because I know that one day it will all end. Like the spiral of hurricane that just fizzles away.  Whether it is my fault or theirs it all ends.  Everything eventually dies once it hits that blooming peak.  And with her especially I don't want it to go.  I only take salvation in the possibility that this feeling plaguing me will soon pass, and that I would one day see her as a sister, companion rather than a possible lover & mate.   But for some reason I Just don't think that'll ever happen...

I drink good coffee every morning

Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you...